Day 164 – Writing the weather, show don’t tell

Day 164 of my 365 Day Writing Project.

Words for Days 163 and 164: 1,100

Writing about the weather as characters experience it is enjoyable. One aspect that I enjoy is coming up with creative descriptive terms. I’m currently writing a scene that is taking place during a winter storm. Since I live in Vermont and have lived in New England my entire life, I know quite a bit about the subject. I appreciate the beauty of a winter storm, but I also respect its power and my small, humble place in it. Writing this comes naturally to me.

Another aspect of writing the weather that I find enjoyable is the challenge to not sound like a meteorologist while using descriptive terms. This doesn’t come so naturally, but it is tons of fun. For example, I might wish to describe how the character is hiking through “heavy snow falling at a rate of two inches per hour” and battling “cold winds with a wind chill of ten below zero.” Hello, Al Roker. Sure, this is informative, but it isn’t descriptive. This is what I wrote instead, attempting to be more descriptive and less like Al:

The snow was falling fast, raining down in blankets of tiny crystals. Skylar’s feet and hands were almost completely numb despite wiggling her fingers and toes to keep the blood moving. She blinked to free the crystals of ice forming on her eyelashes, a frozen mixture of snow and tears.


The snow was piling up on their shoulders and in the creases of their jackets. Their hats were completely covered in white. Mike’s eyes squinted against the stinging cold flakes, his lips pressed together in a crooked line. Each step was a tremendous effort, slow and heavy against the wind.

These passages probably need more work, but they were fun to write.

Day 64 – Writing action scenes

Day sixty-four of my 365 Day Writing Project

Words: 1,100

I wrote a car chase today. I’m not going to lie, it was a little awkward. I wrote it and afterward felt like I was perhaps not descriptive enough. I could picture the chase unfolding in my mind as I wrote it, but I didn’t feel confident that the reader will get as much out of it. And then I felt like perhaps I didn’t keep the writing concise enough to facilitate the pace I wanted. I was about to go back and edit and re-work the whole thing, but decided to leave it. Write now. Edit later. I’m really trying to live by that rule.

This experience of writing a car chase did make me wonder about how descriptive one needs to be when writing action scenes. Perhaps I’m over-thinking it, but it seems that there should be a delicate balance between informative description and quick-paced, simple wording. I want the reader to fly along the page, never getting stuck on verbiage so she can feel the accelerated action in the story. Simple language and simple sentence structure, which hopefully lends itself to quick-paced reading. But I also want the reader to understand and fully picture what is happening. I prefer to include some colorful, tickling-the-senses description, but only what is necessary. How to strike that balance is the trick.

Which leads me to the obvious question: In action scenes, which is more important: pace or description?

The answer is both. I found this bit of simple writing advice from Holly Lisle, writer and author, who had this to say about writing action scenes:

Limit extraneous information.

This is not the time to describe the countryside, the weather, or what people are wearing. Concentrate on the main characters, their movements, their five senses, and their emotions as they work through whatever problem they’re facing.

Pull your camera in close.

Let us taste the blood at the corner of the lip, feel the pain of the broken bone, hear the whistling of the blade, smell sweat, see eyes wide with shock, the beads of sweat on upper lips. Sense details create a sense of immediacy and urgency, and make a scene feel faster.

Keep sentences short and clean.

There are times and places for the hundred word sentence, but the fast-paced action scene is not one of them.

Be sharp, short, hard-edged.

Use fragments (sparingly). Kill adjectives and adverbs — be ruthless. You don’t need many, and may not need any. Find good verbs and nouns, and let the scene run with them.

This is good advice to follow, which I will be sure to do for my next action scene. For now, I’m going to resist the temptation to go back and re-write the scene I wrote tonight. Nope, not gonna do it. Write now. Edit later. Good night.