Day eighty-one of my 365 Day Writing Project.
Earlier today I happened to mention to an acquaintance that I’m writing a book. He became very interested and started asking me a lot of questions about the characters and the story. After several specific questions, I started to feel uncomfortable. It felt a little too personal and I had some difficulty talking about it. I’m sure he thought I was nuts and my book doomed to be a total failure. Afterward, I wondered why I had that reaction. The book and what it is about are no secret, so why did it bother me so much to answer his questions?
It came to me tonight as I was writing. I feel protective about my work because in a sense it is my baby, my creation. The real issue, I think, is not so much that it is my baby but that it is a work in progress. The idea for the book, the characters and even the plot are still evolving. It feels strange to me to describe these things in detail when they are still changing. It also feels risky to put it out there for someone I don’t know to give feedback that I’m not quite ready to hear. In other words, I’m scared. Scared to have this amazing project ruined, scared to have my dream ruined, scared to realize that my idea, my baby, totally sucks.
And then I gave myself a kick in the pants. Get over it. So what if it sucks. No one and nothing can ruin my dream to write a book or my project to write every day. I’m doing it. I’m living it. And that’s all that matters.